Studmuffin

"joe" his name is something else , but to me he was always just joe. and i think i might have loved him. he made the butterflies in my tummy flutter and i have yet to find someone else who does it like he did. he was one of my best guy friends. he was amazing. everytime i saw him i just turned scarlet. joe was my high school sweetheart, and although we never went out we never kissed we never did much more than hold hands and walk around school with our arms around our waists i have never had something closer to a boyfriend before are after him. it felt like we were ina relationship, even my mom was like when is he going to ask you out. actually we meet each other's parents. it was weird. he walked me to class i kissed him on the cheek when i passed by his class, i would fix his chin hair/goatee.. on fieldtrips he was my bus buddy and he was the one who stroked my hair and it was I who held his hand so he wouldn't get lost. And to think we started talking because i fell in love with his star backpack! i think senior year i had the courage to say i know you like me you know i want you, let's get together, when he quietly and suddenly moved schools! i was saddended but i put it behind me and to be honest didn't care because during vacation i had a hook up, so i was devoid of emotion but i know that had i seen Joe my kuslapous would have done it's usual flip! but senior went by college began and even now i wouldn't have cared i thought i was done with all of him, but two days ago wiffey found his myspace. and i saw it and yes the kuslapous did a flip, whoever said they can't flip hasn't had it happen.. think of keanu reeves rock hard body!ahhh.. anyway, point is i feel things again, if only i could like project them onto someone else. someone i would/could have a potential relationship with. surprisingly the only guy i like is also named jose (joe's real name) and i nick named him joe.. similarites? that's where they end.. we'll see but i need to not see joe's face it's brutally handsome and it makes me cringe and i can't stop thinking if only!!!! ever had one of those days were your just a complete hot mess?

pun intended

ok so spring is coming and on it's tail rides summer, the barely clothed season. my goal to lose weight is not going in the direction i planned considering that everytime i'm around my friend anne (and we hang out almost every saturday or friday) we consume more in a day than i usually do in two days. you see, she is a very snackish person and well i like snacks to but can control myself, usually, instead i'll eat a big lunch and a small dinner usually cereal(mainly because by then i don't have the energy to cook and i won't eat meat that my mom cooks, bcause it takes to long to digest. when i'm around anne i eat mostly everything she does, mainly because it's really good!!!!! i mean who can pass up on cookies frozen yogurt, chocolate and churros?? how about elote loco, from the street vendors?? how can i not at least take a bite out of that??
it's ridiculous everytime were together weird things start to happen, she starts to forget things, something that i do thanx to the blonde hair(pun intended) and i eat like a fatass, which i know she does all the time, where she puts it away i'll never know! also food starts to come alive, for example we were at del taco once and we bought churros and coffee, i didn't want my last nugget of churro and so i poked the fork into it. it made eyes and that gave me the brilliant idea to make it a mouth and voila there is a very good imitation of a minituture human being. crazy part is he seemed to express emotion it was so scary that we threw him away wondering if he'd coe chasing after us.. *shivers*.. another thing would be the indecisiveness.. we never seem to know what to do. it's ridiculous. but we have fun anyway..so back to summer i hope to become more active as in walk eww.. what i need is to get a boyfriend... any takers??