2009 lessons and messages.

So end of the year rally up. Here is the conclusion that i have come too.. People come, people go. You think that you'll miss them but truly you won't. Only those select few who well, you know will stay for good. Money burns holes in the pockets of hungry teens-soon -to -be adults. Allnighters are fun when you have someone to pillowchat with. Death is not the happiest prospect it plays out to be. School is a commiment no one is willing to make but sorta of forced upon one. Watching movies when it's just you in a movie theater with your best friend is amazing. Road trips are amazing with the right people and the right music. Things happen for a reason, like finally realizing that maybe bald men are worth the look evey now and then. Telling someone that they are annoying and a hindrance to you, is a way of telling them to go fuck themselves. Having no or obsessing over you non exsistent love life is not something you want to do with a box of pasta. Waiting for the change, or for those to change, is not worth it, either you do something about it or let it go. People who usually say i need time to figure things out, it's not you it's me, is baisically saying: i wanna see if i can get better ass, if not hello again. Math is a treasure i need to open, for inside is a key that i need to move on to greener and better pastures, however i lack the correct map. Reading minds is useful when trying to play a practical joke. Or when talking shit in front of people. I can make a nickname about anything that comes my way Squab! A ceartin someone's cat sounds like a bird. Orrr.. People are stupider than you think they are. Compulsive liars hurt the heart. Not everybody likes the boy you date, but they say they will to make you feel special!
The lessons i learned this year were someo that wether i like it or not stay engrained in my mind no matter what i do or where i go. they will make me laugh like an idiot or angry or sad, just plain sad and the sad fact. For i more than anyone on this planet know how lonely you can be, even though you may be in aroom full of people you love. i know more than most, how profoundly sad that people can't see what you see. And lastly only i know how lame it is to always get the fuzzy side of the lollipop. Thank you to all the people that made this an amazing year. Thank you to the people that only had one or two great spurts of ideas but faded out of my life. And a big fuck you to those who stressed me out. Who ruined my day or my week, and to those who i feel bad for, letting you know, i have lost all respect for you, i feel no pity for you, and believe me when i say, i will tear you from limb to limb, if you hurt me or the ones i love.
And lastly a big, big, big thank you to the girl, in a non -sexual way, who has my corazon, Anne,...
the christina to my courtney, lovey because too much shit has happened i just have one question for you: "do you like Pina Coladas?"

Serial Dater

I should be writing my speech on the Salvadorian Civil War, however if I don't write this down i might just not get anything done. So while doing my usual thing and chatting with mah lover and bestie Nannie, i had a revelation of sorts. To understand this revelation you must first understand where i am coming from. This semseter has been both a bitch and super fun! this is prolly the best social semester of my life and yet the one where i got everything but my math in concordance. ok,ok second. Anyways through the ups - and downs of the damn last four months, i have kept a close eye on a boy in my Math class. His name is Andrew i believe, i could be wrong. He is my type, tall but yet short. Dark eyes and dark hair, he looks like a mix of japanese and american parentage. He is very cute and i noticed him because he was dancing in class. Anyways it so happens that today while in class, waiting for our math teacher, this one dude and Andrew are talking about God knows what, when he confesses (in fornt of everyone might i add) that he has never had a girlfriend and what not. that he has never even been on a date. That made my Grinch heart stop and grow a bit. OMWOW i want him. May i have him for Christmas! please with a bow on his.. oh wait going to fast. Anyway my teahcer never showed up so i left . i went to the nearest computer and chatted it to Nannie. Nannie said to go ask him out immediatly, one he had left and two i was not so sure last time i listened to her and fatty patty i got a huge slap in the face..
the dear john letter thing..
so i hesitated, but i really want him .... now for the second guy
Ro is a guy i have known as long as i have known Nannie, which would be around four years. Granted i didn't start liking him till after high school, i couldn't tell you why, he is tall but not too tall, lean and dark hair , dark eyes. yeah i guess he fits my profile.lol. Anyways, he is super shy, or at least until you get to know him better. So time after time i kept feeling girlish around him. And i damn my lack of flirting, because damn it i want him tooo . He himself has never had a girlfriend or a lover nothing, he is like a a blank love page. waiting to be written over.
My point; my type appears to be a guy who hasn't had any experience at all, in the field. i like em' fresh. God i sound like a serial killer/ serial dater?
Now to suck it up and ask one of them out .. prolly not Ro cuz it'd be kinda weird if he said no, 1 and 2 i don't know what to do with him.
As for Andrew he is a complete mystery to me. I'd rather ask him out (cuz i'm a coward )and if he says no we both dissappear. Right?
All i know is that i like 'em both and anything i do at this point is beyond weird...