Morning Person

What is wrong with me? I used to be afternoon princess! I was able to go to sleep at 5 a.m and wake up @ 3 the next day. But now I find myself awake at 6:30 a.m. And I'm chipper! Fuck my life, I've turned into the very thing I abhor... A morning person!

Literature is my poison of choice.

Quickie fix:
This is the third book I can knock of my reading list I posted last time. I've decided that I will read the DeLillo and the other Wallace later because it is too long for the last two weeks of my vacation. Hell was not as good as i feel it could have been and the corrections felt like a dirtier version of  Empire Falls. I'm thinking of reading The Devil wears Prada next or Cold Mountain. Either way I have two weeks to finish some books because my vacations are almost up. For reference, i have as of now not gone too crazy with the literary overload, but did cut it some down. Wish me luck ...

Hell .....literally

Hell by Robert Olen Butler, is the last in a string of random novels that I have just picked up. I bought this novel on a whim a couple of weeks ago, the cover art caught me and just didn't let me go. It was my reading project for the week and I can honestly say that it was ... wait for it.... ehhh. just like that. Here's the skinny bitches: Hatcher McCord award winning journalist on earth is now and forever shall be in Hell. He is now anchorman of the Evening News From Hell. Although he is set with a cast were you honestly can't lose, the story does. Firstly his girlfriend is Anne Boleyn, yes that one, anyway there is so much material with that character it makes one wonder why he didn't use her to his full advantage. Firstly she stays in the apartment all the time and her ending is so weak. I think in fact that might be the downright fact. The story has potential and is so weak. He meets all these interesting and renowned people and you get excited to meet them or get to know them through Hatcher but the result is usually a major let down.  I think the saddest part of the book was perhaps the end, where he gets a chance to maybe escape and turns it down. The whole book is about his search for Heaven and when he finds it he turns it down. Why in the world would anyone do that? Why choose a life where everyone you hate is congregated in approximately the same breathing space as you? Bitch please, this book was sometimes HELL to read. (pun intended) It didn't prove to be a good time filler, more like you started it, now finish it. I hated that Hatcher had so much freedom, hated that he got to roam around Hell and hated that Satan was just sitting and watching instead of taking torturous action. I think that oddly enough my biggest plight with the novel was this: If Lilith (grand matron of the succubi) had two main daughters, why on any plane of souls would she name them "Lily" or "Lulu"? I mean come on! Be creative and not half-assed. Furthermore Butler uses famous peoples names like I use toilet paper, an unnecessary amount, and it ends up like the product, flushed down the toilet, he just throws names around, talk about name dropper without any probable cause. It was not what I expected, it left me wanting more. Blondie not pleased.

The Devil Inside

The Devil Inside is the name of the movie Salinger and I choose to watch this weekend with my wife  and R. Anyway we were late so caught the 11:40 showing of the movie. Why is this pertinent to know? Because dear reader there we’re four other movies showing at the same or roughly the same time. That should have been the first sign. The second sign should have been when my id got stuck in my wallet and even though everyone is older than me I had to show my id. Pftt.. thir d sign should have been when we got our movie tickets handed too us, they gave us  Mission Impossible 4  tickets. We should have taken his que, movie sucks watch this instead.  Although Twilight and its franchise take the cake in horrible and well there are a few that beat it in stupid (Paranormal Franchise anyone?) It was abysmal. I think I laughed more than I was frightened. Plus the end was super stupid, the premise was predictable. The plot goes like this, in the beginning we are shown the police footage of the discovery of the three murders Maria Rossi committed, and then they fast forward some years to Isabella Rossi who wants to know what really lead her mother to commit those atrocious attacks. Turns out her father who is now dead, revealed to her that she had an exorcism and that this is the reason why she is now in an insane asylum in Rome.  She is on team documentation with Michael who hopes to get good footage. They go to visit Isabella’s mom and get some footage of her acting funky, but mostly like a crazy person not like a possessed person.  They leave after Isabella’s mother gets agitated and angry. They attend some classes and come into contact with two priests who preform exorcism without the Holy See’s blessing or approval.  Isabella wants them to study her mother’s case and help her solve the riddle. … I already got tired of this plot… blah, blah , blah… the priest named Tom gets possessed after performing the exorcism because he is the most vulnerable, he almost drowns a baby during its baptism  (talk about traumatizing). When he gets home he cuts his veins and then as the cops come looking for him he disarms one and takes his gun and offs himself. The demon goes to Isabella who is taken to the hospital for shock and then kills a nurse. The other priest and Michael steal Isabella and they are taking her somewhere to perform a rushed exorcism. However in the car Isabella goes demon on their asses and they crash…. Let’s just say there is going to be a part two.  Oh and mark my words it will have something to do with Fr. Ben’s uncle and how he prolly killed him .. Well it will be about him no doubt. Apart from the obvious problems with this movie including the bad ending, the decidedly shoddy camera work, the less than thrilling scenes and the too obvious plot this movie wasn’t all bad. It could have stared Kristen Stewart! Furthermore what the fuck is up with the posters with the scary nun? She didn’t have more than 2 seconds of screen time and it was really stupid to put her as poster (actually good marketing strategy but false advertising.) ….. Let’s just say this movie fell way below par.

Man in the Dark

Man in the Dark by Paul Auster, was one of the novels that my friend E, had let me borrow and let me just say that I loved it. The plot is about a man who in his old age has lost the love of his life, is living with his recently divorced daughter and his grieving granddaughter. He has insomnia and to keep his thoughts at harbor he tells himself stories to make the time go quicker. He lies in his bed and attempts to make time fly, by creating another world, another him and another life.  In his other world things changed and time because circumstantial. In the daytime he is spared from his thoughts and focuses his energy on his granddaughter as they watch foreign films and she loses herself into the stories to escape her pain. The story is told from first person point of view and Auster delivers something beautiful in a very short, but moving novel. This book is about what happens when you’re left alone in the dark with your thoughts, with nothing to distract you from the realness of life but your own imagination.  How when you’re at this point in your life the only thing you want is comfort, someone to love and to share happiness and sadness and the realness of life.

I read this book because E asked me too. Now I’m going to read it again because I simply loved it. I  even asked Salinger to put aside her book projects for the moment and read this, because it’s simply beautiful. I love that its short and told in a Kiss of the Spider Woman way. Incorporated with snippets of a different story in one interwoven delicate beauty, where realism and fantasy coexist harmoniously. Best of all I love the idea of being to give you a full plot summary without spoiling any of it. There are still many surprises left. I absolutely loved it and think everyone should read it.  Especially considering that I had to read Girl with the Curious Hair I had lost some trust in E's reading prefereces but I came out with a huge smile and glad she lent it to me. 

The truth of housewives.

What I learned today is mainly this:
People who are bored and are of a certain age will do either/or of the following: clean or exercise. Or both. Unless your OCD, one's room should be a little messy, not pristine. God I'm one bored son-of- a bitch........

The Golden Globes Fashion

So, this Sunday was awards week over in HOLLYWOOD. This is like every fashionistas Christmas, of course we all love the awards show blah, blah, blah. But what really gets me going is the red carpet. This weekend  I positioned myself in my comfy blue couch, my notepad, diet coke and my kettle cooked chips on the ready as I jotted down what I believed to be the best and worst of the night and later compare them to the Fashion Police Monday night on E!.  Let me tell you right now that the big thing was nudes and blush colored gowns… it’s pretty but considering that it’s the time you want to pop nudes without sparkles … let’s not.  Although some really rocked it like, my favorite of the whole event Charlize Theron, she looked fucking gorgeous, in second place was Resse Witherspoon, who went from girl-next door cuteness too fucking va-va voom status. The reason I picked Charlize was mainly because she made that dress, which I had some problems with, look like it was perfect.  

Charlize Theron

Reese Witherspoon

The worst of the night in my opinion was Lea Michele. I have huge problems with this girls posing, she goes out of the way to like stick her huge shoulder out and make herself kind of concave so her butt is comically out, it’s like shes trying to get the JLO butt , yet everyone can see that girl you just don’t have that ass.. who you lying too girl!! Also she couldn’t pull the dress off, it was way too, “I’m- a -sexy -tv -star –that- needs- to –be- taken- more -seriously” kind  of look. Sarah Michelle Gellar you were the fashion icon of the 90's, wth? This is what happens when you let your young under the age of five daughter pick your dress. Don't let this happen to you again.  Those were the worst of the night. 

Lea Michele and her fucking shoulder ....brrr

Sarah Michelle Gellar

Angelina Jolie looked fucking beautiful, hate her. Evan Rachel Wood, whose fashion choices I usually attempt to defend, damn she let me down so bad so no more of her and I think that both Tilda Swinton and Nicole Kidman made valiant and decent choices, so to the next award and show and to more celebrity dress bashing time. Although seriously, I want to see them do better I know they can, stay true to your sense of fashion and you will undoubtedly be able to be like Angelina,  you can wear practically anything and never be worst dressed nominee.. leave it to Lea Michele.