a happy dysfunctional family

a dysfunctional family, that's what i had for a lonng time, or rather a estranged half-brother. i also thought that my brother hated my father, but even though i prayed with all my soul that one day he could forgive my father. after like four years he finally is trying to make ammends. even though he is still far from actually trusting my father, he does in a sort of twisted way , love him. in any case i know he does it for his motives, 'free food, rides, and other things "but why do we love our parents? we love them because they provide us with everything necessary for our neccesary survivals. in any case i'm glad my estrabged brother and my ever stubborn father are actually going from handshake, to pat, to hug.. yes it seems like your normal every day jabber but i tell you that for the moment, i do believe. i do believe in miracles.

Fernando

The boy that was the object of my infatuation. in my first year of high school i saw him and then and there i wanted him.. sammy knows she was there.. i saw him mostly everytime we went to an assembly and unfortanetly he was my brothers friend. he was a senior which meant he was out of my league. he was tall(which also puts him out of my league) i'd say he was 6'2 somewhere around there. he had hazel eyes and soft wavey brown hair. he was musceled and to me gorgeous.. yes i was infatuated with him and every time i saw him butterflies fluttered in my tummy and i blushed for no apparent reason. though i had to say he was the kind of guy tha never smiled. all throughout that first year of high school i was at my spot and whenever i went to say hi to my brothe which i tried to do often to see him, i watched him out of the corner of my eye the way he flicked his hair.. there would be no other like him!
i dedicated him a song which sammy thought of, Fernando by abba (i think) i made dance moves to it!i even liked his screeched words which he called singing. but i didn't care he was perfect in my eyes. until the day a week before fianls i was walking with sammy when i saw the thing that would break not only my infatuation with fernando but my heart. the bastard smiled and then i knew why he didn't no he didn't have a deformed mouth. on the contratry he had full pouty lips and small perfect teeth but that small feminine mouth did not go with all his ruggedness.. on top of that his nutral careful hazel eyes went luminous like a bright light shone through them he looked in other words., like a clown... so i had to let him go. but damn he looked good from the back!!
so i said goodbye to fernando and hello to orlando..bloom!!!

sooo lagadazical

ok so this wold be the second blog of the day, and here's why i have nothing else to do. i called wiffey today.. she mad e fun of me for a while and then we hung up. i hate tues.. i feel lazy like dropping out, i like school once i'm there it's really the homework part and the waking up part i hate. i guess i just hate having to look forward to the notion of school. besides i imagined college differently, it still sort of feels foreign to me. i imagined already driving and all that jazz, iall i have is a heavy cavas bag, and two pairs of short stubby legs. that is my transportaion and trunk. oh and i thought i would work by now not that i'm cmplaining mind you but yeah.. cash would be nice. i hate my birthday i won't be eighteen for a while and it kills me because i can't do ceartin things, like be outside ont he streets at eleven without worrying about getting a curfew ticket or going clubbing any day of the week, little things like that.. voting i can't do that.. ughhh sometimes it sucks to be me.. especially when your little sister calls you a little bitch i man it was funny but then you know my sister is a hanna montana follower oh and a selena gomez wannabe.. the " tween queens" of disney channel.. the shit they pop out with. so she like mocks them and does the sarcastic voice changes and the i'm the center of the universe crap.. then she cries every time i shatter her world.. hahha i'm an evil bitch...yes it's true. but i really hate her attitude.. gosh.. i wonder if all the little kids are like her... do they cry everytime someone calls them a wannabe, do they yell at you becasue you tell them they did their homework worng, do they hit people who yell at them, do they act like angels to people and then curse when no one but you are their? i wonder this becasue i wonder if i'm the only one living ina mental institution. well seriously now gnyt.

-blondie

american boy

monady monday monday.. ahhah never a good day.. well today wasn't as bad as usual, i didn't have to walk anywhere and i had good favor as in i didn't have to do anything all i do was show i know i have almost nothing to do.. in many ways my class on mondays and wensdays is like high school i do't have to do anything becasue the teacher is just there he dosen't really teach anything i think i will have to call my uncle to tutor me again because it's fucking hard to learn when you don't have any one to teach you no..? ok so i usually stay away from the mainstream junk like rhianna and jonas bros. and all that teeny bopper shit of this year and the only way i find out about new music is because i hear it from my buddies or somewhere when i hear something that catches my fancy it usually means it's a good song. rigth now it's american boy... i think it has this real nice retro beat i enjoy it....[dances] yesterday saw running with scissiors it's a funny movie, though they did take away all the more violent parts like when the motheer and dorothy run in the glass, and cut each other, some things were added but since it's a movie i suppose it is to be expected. joseph cross in that movie looked good... not james franco good[nobody can look that good] but, he looked cute.. well my type cute..hahahhahhahahha.. i finally took down my last orlando bloom poster from my wall... it was about time. well i have to write a papaer ad if i don't get started now i won't do it so yeah...

-blondie

kingdom key

so today was anne's going away party.. it was fun.. hahahhah my present did what it was supposed to do which was mak her look like a cat becasue i ended up wrapping it in yarn.. weird i know..hahahha she took forever opening it. then frank's kitty loved her new toy which turned out to be the yarn from the present... hahha we went to little tokyo and played video games and then we went to eagle rock mall were i fianally got my key. the key from kingdom hearts.. i didn't find the keychain so i opted for the necklace... fuck it i'll make it a keychain, it's real heavy.
i feel a litlle nausous.i can't spell it... hmm.. i'm tired.. so yeah anne's leaving i'm glad she's going to riverside..ni wish it was closer, i wish we could hang out more than twice a month but you know that's ok becasue when she comes back we'll do loads of stuff so it'll even out i'm sure.. gnyt..

-blondie

i'm in for a long night... damn

this is one of those nights where i take everything in my life into perspective, think of the good things think of the bad think of the not so great, think of the gratest, think of the maybes think of the -i -can't- believe -i -did-that ... those kinds of thoughts. Especially right now, i was going to buy anne's present which by the way wasn't the one i wanted to get her, but i still like what i got her but you know wasn't a good way to start the day .i was walking to the store when i see all these couples. that wouldn't have bothered me[i mean come'on look who i hang out] but i was just thinking of a particular somone who could have been my lover. i was just thinking how lame it was that i never got the courage[i'm coward when comes to the opposite square(well asking them out really)] to tell this really amazing guy that i really really liked him. i know liked me back, he even sort of said that i should ask him out. But he left when i think i was finally summing up the courage to ask him out.. so yeah i was a little angry at couples, it felt a little like valentines day in septemeber..=[ Then when i get home i argued with my dad.. something else gone wrong..now i just wrapped anne's present and it looks atrocious cuz i didn't buy paper thinking my mommy had some but no she didn't , well in any case.. i'll make it really hard for anne to open it.. i'll end up getting creative.. watch me.. well gnyt everybody i have a screenplay to write.. don't worry you'll prolly never hear about it..so u won't miss much!

what is douschebagery..?

i'll tell you. anne leaving!! that's what! i mean it's good that she got inoto riverside, and all but damn i will miss her. especially hangng out, so what's with the titile, her word!!! that one and jerk. just like jasmine's indecisiveness is rubbing off so is anne's language. well i'm looking forward to saturday i know exactly what i am going to get her.. she might read this so i'm not telling. all in all though today wasa good day got some schol work done and hung out with the coolio's and frank's kitty!! man i love that cat, she's such a bitch. oh one more thing if i hear the name mocheal worthy one more time i shall yell goth fag, nah deouschebagery!!!!! goshers, the guy ruined lives. well anyway saturday looks to be a promising day. i can say that none of my other friends got good-bye parties so anne if you read this is hope u know that ur special.. oh hell you already prolly knew that! alrighty jerks i'ma continue playing kingdom hearts! becasue it rocks my nucking socks!!
-blondie

bitchology 101

For starters it has recently been brought to my attention that people thinnk i'm a bitch. not that there is anything wrong with it, i mean most of the people that do call me a bitch tend to be assholes and jerk-offs so were even. But really what is a bitch? i know in the dictionary it means that your a female dog but beyond that, what truly defines a bitch? i'm curious because i've been called bitch a whole lot. maybe like everyday. is it because every time someone made fun of me i would beat the shit out of them. i mean if you punk on me do you honestly think i will stand there and take your shit? i'm writing this becasue if i'ma bitch beacsue i don't let people push me around, boss me around, or becasue i don't follow the crowd or simply becasue you don't understand me, then yeah i am a bitch and i could care less what you think. i've been called every name in the book, seriously.so what makes you think that it's gonna bother me if you call me a bitch? in any case i'd probably prove your point by acknowledging it, and then sayinng "woof, woof boo hoo get over it."
-blondie

welcome to my brain.

oh wow i randomly ended up writing a blog. well since i've already began i might as well finish it.
i'm blondie though people call me Martha [for some odd reason]. i'm a college student at LACC and i have no major yet. i know what i want to be i just don't have a name for it yet. i am archniaphobic and i think it's important to know that kind of stuff about people. for those of you who don't know what that means, simply put i'm mortally afriad of spiders. i have some of the greatest friends in the world and i wouldn't have it any other way. i'm friendly and i make friends easily.i like to read. it's the greatest joy in life, i don't care what anybody says.
with that said, i'll leave you to ponder if you would like to be my friend.
-Blondie