Midnight Banter

I'm listening to the rain fall outside my window and my fingers are itching to type on my now running laptop. So i decide to look back at my almost five years on Blogger. I was fucking stupid. Half of 2008 is misspelled and the other is so high school I want to kick myself in the crotch  Truth there are some insightful moments in those blogs, but the truth one gets better with age. you get wiser, you get smarter and you learn to hide identities. Furthermore I have also seen my progress, so i'm not that whiny anymore, I've grown. Sometimes it takes a little disheveling to grow up and I'm sad thats what it took

So in retrospect I want to see what I've learned this year. I've learned to let love in again and to not be so afraid of my imminent demise. Whatever happens happens and you have to trust that everything is going to be ok. I sometimes get to tense about certain situations and i'm starting to believe I have some control issues but i think that as an adult i can honestly say i need to chill the fuck out. I need to trust myself more, as well as push myself more. I keep making the same mistakes over and over again and I need a change. Sometimes i'm disgusted with myself and sometimes I'm proud of myself. Truth is, like everyone else, I have good days and bad days. 

Also I need to stop the relationship that might be growing between me and a certain engaged gentleman. No i don't have bad grammar but I use Me first, because me is the only one I can control. I need to stop looking for guys ( or at least stop being drawn to them) who have no interest in me. I need to quit it before one of them starts to date one of my friends. I need to look for a guy who likes me. Who says hey thats the kind of girl i usually date. Not she's something so different, so new, so not like what i see. That ends up bad and I'm labeled under friends and wondering what the fuck i did wrong. 

I need to stop posting movie reviews in an effort to make myself look and feel purposeful. I want to be somebody and i want to get things done, so i need to remove my mental blocking. 

Lastly I need to keep my friendships strong, I love them all dearly and I know what its like to lose a friend to words and miss-communications and whats its like to lose to death. And i don't want to lose my friends to any of the reasons. 

Mostly i need to remember, no matter what, Care for thyself, Trust Thyself and Love thyself 

Day 39: Midnight Cowboy

Midnight Cowboy: 1969: Winner of the 42nd Academy Awards

Starring:

Dustin Hoffman as Enrico Salvatore "Ratso" Rizzo


Jon Voight as Joe Buck

Sylvia Miles as Cass

John McGiver as Mr. O'Daniel

Brenda Vaccaro as Shirley

Barnard Hughes as Towny


This movie was weird, but it was short so I forgive it. Ok so Jon Voight is an annoying cowboy and Dustin Hoffman is a weird looking Hispanic and/ or Italian. The cowboy is trying to hustle his way in New York after things didn’t go so well for him back home after he came back from the army. His backstory is told mainly thru flashbacks and hallucinations of past events. Ratso is a third rate con-man who should most likely be called a third rate pickpocket. Anyway after Ratso tries to con the cowboy some weird happenstance of chance brings them together and they form a bond. Then they go to this Andy Warhol/ Rocky Horror Picture Show Transylvanian like peoples/ bad 70’s art deco’s party. The cowboy unknowingly gets high of his keister and ends up in bed with one of the wealthy ladies at the party. And he does it with her. Blah Blah Blah, the ending is really sad though. Ok here’s the truth about the 70’s: they were too fucking high to make one steady pic! I swear even thought the camera work was great it was a shoddy way to tell the story of some shit for brains cowboy. Plus did Hoffman have to look so repulsive. Maybe that was the whole point, but it made me want to turn of the movie for fear he would stink it up. I guess I just didn’t like the movie. Not because of it’s sexual premise but because I hate it when the main character is so fucking stupid you might as well just shoot him eh won’t wonder anyhow. Gah! The movie frustrated me a bit and the whole back story about him and Crazy Annie that was super weird. The weird Grandma, he should be n therapy.

It also won awards for:
 
Best Director : John Schlesinger
Best Adapted Screenplay: Waldo Salt

Day 21: All Quiet on the Western Front

All Quiet on the Western Front: 1929: Winner of the 3rd Academy Award.

Starring 

Richard Alexander as Westhus

Ben Alexander as Franz Kemmerich

Lew Ayres as Paul Bäumer

William Bakewell as Albert Kropp

Edmund Breese as Herr Meyer

G. Pat Collins as Lieutenant Bertinck

Owen Davis, Jr. as Peter

Russell Gleason as Müller

Harold Goodwin as Detering

Scott Kolk as Leer

Arnold Lucy as Professor Kantorek

Beryl Mercer as Mrs. Bäumer, Paul's mother

Walter E. Rogers as Behn

Slim Summerville as Tjaden

Louis Wolheim as Stanislaus Katczinsky

This movie was brilliant. It was the war movie made for me. I know that sounds stupid but I loved it. It neither glorified nor bashed the idea of war. It put it in plain terms. You fight you die, for your country and for those who run it. That’s it. For a group of young brash German boys, the war could mean anything, what they never thought it to mean was death. Not death from a bullet, but of starvation, indecent sanitation, cold and insanity. The main character of the story paul is a brash young man who is fallen in with a war veteran named Kat. He befriends him while they watch their friends die in the trenches. Paul is witness to the many ways soldiers dies in war. Mostly by watching his friends as they slowly diminish in numbers. He himself is taken to the hospital when he is struck by a bomb with hihs friend. There in the hospital you see the soldiers who are dying and who are taken to places to die because after awhile fighting proves futile. Paul is relieved to go on break after he gets better and there he finds everything almost the same as when he left. He goes to visit his old school master and is asked to give a speech about war, where he delivers the famous line of the movie. He is heart broken by the war and he realizes that he can't just come back to normalcy, he too has gone off the looney bin in more than one way. He decides to go back. He is reunited with Kat and they are to go get some wood and Kat is killed by enemy fire. But Paul brings him to the surgeon nonetheless to try to fix him but is only devastated. The last scene is of Paul in the trenches and a butterfly. This movie was awesome and sad. It was beautiful and tragic, it was the realness which made it that much more believable. I don't think I could watch it everyday but I definitely love everything about it.

It also won awards for:

Best Director Lewis Milestone