Dragonslayer

Picture this with me:

A young girl walks down a path, she is just a fair maiden who ran away from all that in her world threatened her very existence. Wearing her down slowly but surely, so she took to the hills and with her only carried a small shield and a tiny sword. On she walked, she knew that a couple of days walk from her kingdom was a place named Oblivion, there she could be happy at last, she was sure of it. As twilight approached she knew she had to start looking for a place to spend the night. She found a cave not to far and even though it stunk of sulfur, she thought the smell was a small price to pay considering the evil in the world. Little did the girl know it was a Dragon's chambers. The dragon had gone to feast and the girl was sound asleep when it lumbered, drunk and gorged on blood and flesh. The girl awoke with a start and groped in the dark for her shield. The dragon already bloated still wanted more, its gluttonous nature deferred, the dragon opened its mouth and let out a spew of hot fire and the girl only hid behind her shield, how long could the shield last against the dragon she couldn't say and didn't want to find out. All she knew was that she had to fight the dragon, like she needed to fight every other thing in her life. A tiny spark flew on her dress and instantly began to consume the material. She rolled around to put out and the Dragon with drunk eyes tried to follow her. She had every intention of just lying there and somehow she thought of all that could be avoided by just simply letting go, but she also thouht about all she had had to go through and how far she had gotten. She got up a bit burned but otherwise unscathed and charged the dragon swerving, to the left to the right and then she tried to ram the shield in its neck she was going to kill this dragon and with it all that life had unwillingly served her. All the injustices, all the loss and all the pain . She brought forth all that rage and threw the shield, it cut somewhere between the scales and through the neck but not all the way. she rammed her sword down the head of the dragon and it came out of the mouth. just like that she had single handed killed the dragon. She pulled her sword and cut the dragons belly, a stench filled the air and she ignored it, she had to get the heart. she reached deep in to the beasts rib cage and pulled the heart out with the help of her sword. Soon she had a fire going and she cooked it, they said that the only way to truly beat your enemy was to make sure no memory of them existed, and the only memory that would exist now would be in her and all would call her Dragonslayer.

not a story i'm working on, just some issues in my life that suck so if my character can slay the dragon i can sure as hell slay my issues right?

Rafael:4/9/94-8/13/2011

Last month on this 13 of August i lost someone i loved, Rafael, he was my god brother and he was someone i cared for deeply. On that saturday when i gave him one last hug, i never for one second thought that he would never hug me again. That saturday when his sister called me to tell me that someone i had watched grow-up, someone who i had known my entire life , was gone in the closing of an eye, i was suspended in disbelief. i got to the hospital and still wearing my uniform from the event we had been at, my in beige and black everyone else in black and yellow i was confused, the bees were buzzing, i kept seeing bees. in all my young life i had never lost anyone i talked too on an almost daily basis. I had never lost a grandparent or a relative or anything i was really attached too. When ralfie died i cried till my eyes could produce no more tears. that night when i got home i listened to adele and yann tiersan and let the sorrow take me and i cried hard, i knew i had to go back to the place he died in the morning, but i didn't want to believe. it was soo shocking. i had said goodbye to him naught but 20 min before he died i saw him as he fell onto the ground and i saw when they took him away. but i wish i hadn't. i wish he was still here and that he would make me laugh. i wish that he hadn't died and that my godparents would be happy again. i wish he was here to make his sister go crazy and then make her laugh. i wish he was here to txt me and drive me crazy with his repetitive txts. i wish that he wasn't six feet under and that he wasn't buried. threeweeks ago tues was the viewing and i kid you, dear reader, 1500 people showed up, that we know off. The church (that is St. Thomas the Apostle Church) yes i'm catholic, was up to its neck in Rafael's friends and family. As i sat there behind my godparents and my best friend Brenda (his sister) i cried, all week i had held in my tears for fear of making them- my god parents and Brenda- cry, but tues i let go, no matter how much i tried the tears fell and they wouldnt stop falling. people around me were also crying and im pretty sure that everyone wasn't as distraught as i was, but you could see how Ralf with his charasmatic and pushy way had come to be completly loved in the community. It was touching, moving and so very comforting that everyone could give testimony as to how beautiful ralf had been. As a person. as a friend. and as a family member. I tried to see him there, as he lay in his navy blue and silver coffin, but i coulnd't he didin't look the same. the ralf i knew almost always smiled. Even when he was upset he always found a way to turn it into a joke and smile. and when i saw him lying there in the semblance of sleep i cried the hardest i coudn't believe who i was looking at, why i was there and for whom i was crying. nothing made sense and it still doesn't. Ladies and gentlemen i am a coward for i did not wish to be present at the funeral i went to stand over by a tree as they lowered my sweet godbrother to the earth and i still cried, there under the tree, i wanted to hug my parents and tell them that i loved them, but they were faraway so i hugged myself. i saw the lid of the coffin shine and thats the last time i will ever see him. now only memories bittersweet memories remian. today is his one month anniversary. and today i miss him more than i did yesterday, sometimes i forget whats happened but i will see something that will remind me of him, like a funnny cat picture, i'll get excited and want to show him and then remember that no one will laugh , for ralfie isn't there anymore.

The Descent of Persephone

The Descent of Persephone

love this

the day it rained in summer

because i was thinking of HIM and it was raining, and i need closure
It's raining and I think of you,
those times when we would sit and wonder
what am i to
can i not ponder?
what the present, the future would be like
without the past that seperated us?
maybe i am to blame for your deep dislike
of me, of who i am and wat became of this lust
But i took no for an answer, I never chased you down
I thought you foolish, stupid and beneath me
maybe i should wear the crown
of smiling fools, and maybe i pretend to be
someone that won't miss you
but when it rains and its not december
without you
there is no memory worth to remember.

French Class

Picture me as David Sedaris. Once when i was a young fair maiden of 18 i took a english class and we read a piece by Sedaris titled "Me talk pretty one day". The piece was about his experience in a French class where the teacher was verbally abusing them in French, and how through all of the verbal abuse he finally came to understand the language. Amidst all this he was comforted all year by his friends in the class even though neither of them spoke the same language and so consoled themselves in broken french. Well this has been my French semester, i took the class as a second stab at the language trying to get over the trauma of taking a quacking bitch in high school, (i swear she quacked) anyway the class is so fantastic. My teacher,for reference, does not verbally abuse any of us, in fact she makes the class a very nice enviorment and she promotes a unity of sorts, its sort of the english niche but created in one semester as opposed to two years of taking the same classes. Well what can i say except i had never known the beauty of having a class i look forward to going to everyday, the language is beautiful and low and behold i understand it. however its more than that, its being able to socialize and communicate somewhat and then laugh at our half assed attempts. you get to know people after seeing them four days a week, and i feel like i fit. its a wonderful learning enviorment i wish would be like math but alas, there are only so many good things right?

my archangels

can i just say short post and a toast to my fabulous friends:
Jasmine a.k.a Wifey: my dear who makes me waffles, hears me out and reminds me that there is true friendship, baby i'm yours forever=]
Barbie: barbarella to my shtrudel! my liteary critic i owe my future success to you=] thanks for picking up the fallen bits of me and gluing me together with the pinky raised
Faika: the best person on this planet, dude fuck what anyone thinks, let me remind you, your the best that ever lived.
and lastly to Joana who will probably never read this but who i owe my sanity too! joana if you someday read this, i could never live far away from you, it would suck! my existence would suck!
and too Bertha: you opened my eyes and love me and what i represent ur more than a friend your family
thank you and have a nice day =]

Lesson Learned

Lessons learned are lessons lived. there is so much to say about this year, but some are too long and a wee bit hurtful to talk about. Others remain like flies forever buzzing in my mind. The things that have happened to me this year are unforgettable and some unforgivable, but one moves on. for good or for bad things unravel the way they do, I was caught in a storm of stolen emotions and I knew that I had to let go but didn't know how. Today I finally came to realize somethings. First: things happen the way they do, because sometime one is to busy slumbering in contentedness and you start slowly losing control of who and what you are. Secondly: Time heals all wounds and though you have the scars they are a reminder to be careful for next time. Thirdly: in the end its never about the people who were in your life, or who left your life , or the has beens its about those that you go back to at the end of the day. Fourth: remembering who you are and never forgetting your self is so important. Fifth: Amazing people are just waiting for you to discover them and you cant let what people have done to you get to you. Move it, move it, move it. And lastly Sixth: when you've been wronged, just wait it out and let them tell you what you did wrong and if you can fix it hurrah, if not if no one bothers then hurrah, thats it. I've meet some incredible people these past four months and I owe them my current happiness. So on to next year and see what it brings. Out with the old in with the new=]