Catching Fire

I had been in slow agony awaiting this movie it seems like I like torture (not all other series I love) finally the blessed weekend came and me, nothing. I had no one to go with. None of my adult friends wanted to go and my cousins ( as I shall call them) had already gone without me. I call betrayal! So when my cousin from Houston came back they all wanted to go see it again and me for the first time!It was fucking awesome, way better than the first and definitely more true to the book. Ok can I pause for a second and congratulate both the writer and the costume designer. One for an amazing job thinking these things up and the second for making them come to life, I swear the costumes for these movies are just plain fantastic. Its really not that simple to put all of this book into one small contained movie, there was so much here, the whole clock aspect of the games was fantastic. I really loved this movie, I can't wait for them all to come out and for me to have them on video so I can just watch them and have a marathon. On that note I will say that it was sadder than the book. Maybe because I saw the visualization. I honestly don't know I loved it. Even if it is a fucked up concept. I'm a little spacey so this post might need revision later

R.I.P Kindle

Last Saturday as I was doing laundry I put my kindle in my hamper and I washed it, yes ladies and gentlemen I am a huge jackass. I loved my kindle more than one should love such objects, but if you had one you would understand! That kindle was my life, it literally never left my side, if it did it was because where I was going was to dangerous to take. I could not risk it's life. I had all my life inside that kindle. Now I feel so empty, there is nothing I can even begin to compare to my beloved kindle. My blackberry used to be on this pedestal but once I stupidly erased the mobi reader app and have not been able to install it on the new blackberry I am stuck in limbo with that piece of crap. My kindle allowed me to be part of the app crowd. Now I have nothing to divert my time with, no more candy crush, song quiz, plants vs. zombies, star girl, unblock me. no more alarm, no more really cool comforting rain sounds to put me to sleep! Its all very sad and so I ask you to join me in the moment for my kindle. .

Ironically all my  kindle pictures where on the kindle. so this is the one I had I tried to get a new one this holiday season (black Friday and cyber Monday) but for some reason it was like 3 times this price so I said nels.

here's what my beloved looked like

Little Children

Little Children by Tom Perrota is one of those fabulous novels that have been turned into better movies. I had seen the movie back in 2008. The movie starred two of my all time favorite actors; Kate Winslet and Patrick Wilson. The movie revolves around two stay at home parents who have completed degrees in higher education. They have both conformed to the lives of the "dominant spouse" and when they find themselves they begin a romantic conection. The problems being to arise with the arivval of a knonw sexual offender.
This is where the movie and the book begin to defer.
The movie takes the character of Ronnie the sexual deviant into a more subdued manner, they don't acuse him of murder nor is he as repugnant as he is described in the book. Also the scene where he goes on a date is also thankfully excluded.
The truth is I really liked the movie and the ending was much more powerful, in the book the end was almost laughable. I mean you got the mom who has been a pseudo intellectual now playing Cinderella, the dad who has been for the most part a pretty face who was riding on his luck taking a turn for the better attempting to be a hero. Then you have the secondary characters the "perfect mom" riding in to finally break her own rules and quits becoming a conformist and the sexual deviant who just lost his mom becoming sympathetic to someone besides himself. The really is an asshole all throughout the book while in the movie you don't exactly forgive him or understand why he did what he did but you can sympathize with his character.
All in all the book was a quick read, but I would rather watch the movie.

Machete Kills

So I saw the trailer for this movie and I just could not help wanting to watch it. I knew it was going to be terrible the minute I heard the name of the main character. Machete is a character I have come to know very well. What with him being the cool outcasted uncle in the very popular children's "Spy Kids" series. Now let me say this first; robert Rodriguez always has a hispanic cast and he is like Adam Sandler or Judd Apatow you already know who his main and co-starring characters will be. In the Machete series he baisically takes this already established character and amps his violent streak to a 10. Now I haven't seen the first one, at least not all of it. However I saw enough to understand that he is a mercenary on the hunt fro something and justice for Mexico or whatever and Michelle Rodriguez comes in and kicks as and Juny Cortez is also there as a cholo and Machete is Machete with Cheech Marin as his priestly brother. Jessica Alba is the law abiding princess who steals his heart.
In this new Machete, which by the way opes with a teaser for the next installment of Machete, aka Machete Kills Again in Space( that I will go watch for the funny Space Wars spoof and mostly for laughs) and proceeds to the very first killing. I guess I won't spoil and tell you what is Machete's driving froce behind his killing streak. I will however say that it was FUNNY!  I swear I almost peed in my seat laughing! I don't know if it was because the Mexicans next to me were cheering him on (as if he could or would listen) or because I just couldn't handle the ridiculousness that is the whole entire movie. On a sidenote Sofia Vergara can do creepy very well, its that damn gigantic mouth of hers. Oh and Amber Heard plays a good bitch. I say watch it if your not going to take it seriously. If you are your going to be dissapointed .

Insidious 2

Insidious  2 was freaking awesome. I was really in doubt about the previews I had seen about this movie. I was quite skeptical that it could produce the same effect of the first one. I was wrong! Oh so wrong! This movie was not only really good it was cohesive and well thought out. I mean for those of you who have seen the first one you know that obviously it was going to come with a sequel but what you couldn't expect was the story behind the veil. Then it ties in oh so well with the first, I mean its, just ughh,.... I don't want to say anymore. Trust me that's its really good and you should watch it if you enjoyed the first one. I can't wait for chapter 3, I'm pretty sure there will be one but without the main characters of the first and second installments but do not fear, if the writers remain the same then we shall having nothing to fear but fear itself. The only thing I didn't like about the movie was that it was badly marketed.. well it seemed less interesting but I guess in retrospect I kind of like it because you really were in for a  surprise.

Petals on the Wind

Petals on the Wind by V.C Andrews:

The continuing story of the Dollanganger family and it picks up right after the other book. The family is taken in by a wonderful doctor and they grow up under his watchful gaze.

                                    *SPOILER ALERT*

ok so I can’t really divulge anything without spoiler alert because its hard not to say anything. It isn’t as incestuous as I thought, Christopher never touches his sister again as she is growing up and none of her children and up being his. The doctor takes them in as he is infatuated by Cathy who is by far a huge tease and she knows it. Carrie is sent away to a boarding school and is consequently tortured by her underdevelopment. Chris studies hard and has tutelage from his benefactor the doctor so he can get thru medical school as quickly as possible. Cathy does become a famous ballerina and fucks the doctor and then in a fit of anger breaks their engagement and marries her dance partner. Julian makes her wish she never had when she finally realizes that she loves him he breaks her toes and then gets himself in a terrible car wreck rendering him unable to ever dance again. Upon hearing this tidbit of news he cuts his iv needle and kills himself. Cathy finally realizes she loves him and then goes to Foxworth Hall and is determined to seduce her mother’s husband and take him away from her. She succeeds and then when she gets pregnant she decides to unveil her plan, looking exactly like her mother 20 years ago she reveals the truth to everyone. Bart Winslow, her mother’s husband, takes her and her mother into the study where the old Grandmother is also waiting and her mother finally cops to all the horrible things she has ever done. Then the mom sets fire to the  house and Winslow dies. Cathy goes back and marries Paul and he dies and she marries Chris. They leave with their two children (one Julian’s the other Winslow’s ). Oh and Carrie dies she also kills herself.

Bitch Please!

This book was sad and pretty good I was annoyed with everyone telling Cathy how desirable she is and how they all pretty much rape her with the exception of Paul who is a gentleman and would never do that. Then there’s the whole brother obsession thing. I don’t know I won’t read the other books in the series they’re too depressing and honestly sometimes she goes overboard with the rape scenes. I think that its half well written and half ridiculous. Cathy is so miserable blaming shit on her mother she just can’t let herself be happy until she destroyed her. You know what I think I would have immediately seen that my mother went to prison and then lived my life in a wholly new way, trying to erase the horrible shit I’d been through. Overall the series wasn’t so bad it was better than some other stuff I’ve read and it was engrossing.

Her Fearful Symmetry

 

Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffenegger:

The story revolves around two different sets of twins. The latter twins are 21 years old and haven’t really decided what to do in life or how to go about it. They are content with sitting at home and watching the tube, reading and enjoying each others companies. The other twins are the mothers of the younger twins. Elspeth and Edie are twins who let a horrible secret keep them apart for years. Julia and Valentina are a product of Edie and her husband Jack. While on her deathbed Elspeth bequeaths her apartment and all her worldly belongings to her nieces. So Valentina and Julia make the valiant decision to move to England and inhabit the home of an aunt they never knew. There’s all the side story of the other residents of the building, Robert, Elspeths lover/life mate. Martin and Marijke a couple whom are basically the silver lining of the book. Without them the book would be a dreary history of a cemetery, selfish people and body robbing oh and twin things.

Bitch Please!

This is where the book ends being interesting and begins to get boring because the story seriously starts to get boring. The man upstairs Martin has OCD and he can’t leave his apartment the annoying twin Julia goes to visit him and discovers that she likes him immensely so she keeps going to keep him company. Here’s the thing the guy Robert who was in love with Elspeth is afraid of going to see the twins and avoids them and finally goes to see them and falls in love with Valentina. Remember I had just read Flowers in the Attic so this was the overall theme of the week. Uncles marrying nieces. What I hated most about this book was that Elspeth who was dead came back as a ghost. I wanted the twins to go on an adventure and figure out the dark secret their mother was hiding and then live a fulfilled semi separate life. But Valentina my initial favorite sister turned out to be selfish and stupid. *Spoiler Alert*

Valentina is a fucked up bitch, in her desperate attempt to leave Julia’s side she decides to kill herself with the help of Elspeth’s soul. She deserved to never figure out how to get back into her body because she was selfish. She didn’t care that she was making her parents heart break or that she was going to abandon Julia. I hate Elspeth for knowing beforehand she was never going to let Valentina back into her body and befriending her anyway. I hate that Julia was left alone and sad and couldn’t move on with her life. My favorite part of the book was Julia’s interaction with Martin. I definitely liked the idea of a man living with OCD and aided by a young curious girl who was determined to help him trump his fear and reunite his wife. In fact I vote for Ms. N to take this story and revamp it with different names and then make it a book. It would have been better than what she eventually presented in manuscript. This was really frustrating to read. I didn’t like how it ended, not even how Valentina figured out how to be free. I wish I hadn’t read this before Cather in the Rye and after Flowers in the Attic. Vomit.

Catcher in the Rye

 

Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger:

 

 

I’ve heard about this book about a hundred different ways and I imagined a hundred different scenarios this book could introduce. Therefore I was tremendously unprepared for what I ended up with. The book is about a guy named Holden and his three day journey in New York after he gets kicked out of his prep school. That’s it. Seriously that’s all this “Amazing” novel was all about. A piece of ass rich kid named Holden (what kind of name is that?) who kind of haunts New York.

Bitch Please!

I had so many problems with this book, starting with the premise, the whole idea. This little bitch kid that has some issues and who’s always had some issue applying himself in school, if his retelling of history is to be trusted, gets kicked out and decides to go to New York. Wait, I’m skimping on the details, first he decides to hang out with the guy next door whom he hates and then he hangs out with his roommate whom he thinks is underneath him and shallow. Later he gets jealous and starts a fight. He is jealous this guy is dating a girl he has the hots for but is too big of a pansy to ask out. Then he decides to leave and he heads to New York, signs in to a seedy motel and gets in trouble with a pimp and then he has to pick up the tab for some ugly out of town chicks. Afterwards he decides to call this girl he was seeing for a date the next day but he calls her at midnight. However the girl decides to go out with him and he takes her to a movie, which he purportedly hates to the max but goes about once a week anyway, and then gets mad when she makes friends with a guy. He is a ball of contradictions always saying he hates “phonies” that he really hates “ phonies”. He is probably the biggest fucking phony of them all, he is an expert liar and lets you know this his own opinion of himself and he also hates when people say things twice. Yet he does this particular annoying trait almost the whole fucking book. He is really crazy and if you ask me has way to much money and time on his hands. What he needs is a good fucking scare, a beating or to be put into a fucking public school where he can’t waste any more money. He is always talking about his brother and his sister Phoebe. Why is this book such a big fucking deal, I think its because the kid under all his bullshit wants to be a helpful guy. He wants to be the guy who helps people in short he wants to be a hero but he is all sorts of fucked up. I honestly don’t get the appeal and maybe its one of those books I’d like better if I had read in high school. I doubt it because the whole time I read it I waited for something to happen and nothing happened. Absofuckingloutley nothing super anticlimactic and stupid I didn’t understand what people make all the fuss about. Maybe I’m not as sophisticated or appreciative enough for this kind of work, or maybe I’m right and its fucking stupid. Either way I don’t recommend.

Flowers in the attic

Flowers in the Attic by V.C Andrews

I was kind of prepared for what this book was going to be about. I wasn't prepared for what other stuff would be going down. The book is about four children who are adored by their parents. A very doting dad and a devoted mother. However their world comes crashing down when their father dies. that's when the problems begin. Their mother is a self proclaimed trophy wife who never learned to do anything, she was beautiful she never needed too. She drags her four children to the house she grew up in. The problem is that she has to hide them. The poor children are sent up into a forlorn part of the house and the attic becomes their play area.
Bitch Please!
That's all I want to say about this book in the above *Spoiler Alert*
Ok what they don't tell you is that the mother married her half-uncle, which is super incestuous and when she tells her father she expects him to be ok with this. after he isn't, I mean how would you feel if your brother married your daughter? Ok here's my thing, I have an amazingly wonderful mother who babies me and is quite the charmer. My mom was born to be a mom. She tries to adopt all of my friends, Salinger has already been adopted. Whats my point? My point is that having this kind of mom I could not even for one second understand why the mother of these four children could have sacrificed herself them that way! Astounding her lust for money, its like she was her mothers clone. The Grandmother is set out to be the witch but honestly I think for sure it was the mother. Super Spoiler alert, the mom tries to kill her children and succeeds in killing one. What kind of mother does that! Honestly who fucking does that! I cried when that little one died. It wasn't fair and the mom acted like she did nothing. I hope in the next book her new husband dies and leaves her penniless and her money reverts to her children and then to have her be on the street poor where everyone who knew her and whom she belittled saw her and she would have to rely on the mercy of the children. fuck I just hate her. The book was good even if the main characters were dirty but I guess it wasn't as bad.. ok yes it was.. but still what can they expect?

The Conjuring

The Conjuring was a movie that I had wanted to see when it came out, but never really ha the time for. Yesterday Salinger suggested we go watch it and I was glad we did. We finally saw a good scary movie in a theatre. The premise of this movie a “true story” is about renowned demonologists, Lorainne and Ed Warren who have encountered a family with some nasty ass spirits. The family in question is a big family of seven the mother and father  and five girls. They move into this spacious house in Rhode Island and settle in until they figure that there are some malevolent things hiding their. The family asks the help of these demonologists and so the Warrens go ahead and check the house and find that there is definitely something wrong. Now I won’t spill the beans but I will say that whether or not this movie was based on truth or not it made for good entertainment. I was pleased with being sufficiently rattled and scared. Unlike some other exorcist movies this one was actually pretty good. One thing I have to say is I love it when in the theatre you hear people echoing your own thoughts “Don’t go down there, don’t do it, oh shit she went!”. It was kind of funny and after deciding not to pay for scary movies in theatres I have decided to maybe renew this belief. However I will not be watching Insidious 2. More on that later when I do my Fall Previews.

Mirror, Mirror

Mirror Mirror by Gergory Maguire:

 

 

Mirror, Mirror is a retelling of the Snow White fairytale and the author had set in the early 1500’s and the wicked witch is none other than Lucrezia Borgia. Needless to say it should have been pretty fricking awesome. Alas it wasn’t, it was kind of boring and hard to follow. The dwarves are the hardest thing for me to understand, first their a part of nature, then they begin to morph into humans and, well it gets tiresome to really comprehend where he wants to go with this. As per the story Bianca aka Snow White has no mother and she is the apple of her father’s eye. However he is under the control of the Borgia’s, I mean in those days who wasn’t, and he leaves Bianca in her care, yes crazy selfish Lucrezia Borgia. He is on a quest to find the branch of the tree of life, which if you ask me is dispersed too quickly.

Bitch Please!

This book was so far from what Wicked was that I just can’t comprehend how he got this published in the first place. It is extremely hard to follow whenever the dwarves come and when he writes in seven different voices it with no apparent difference. I was bored throughout the whole story, Bianca is asleep the bulk of the novel and the only interesting part is when Cesare tries to take Bianca and Lucrezia rescues her and then in turn tries to kill her. I don’t know if it was because I read it just after “The Swan Thieves” a work that tells its story through many voices and still manages to be coherent or that the language and logic in “Mirror, Mirror” is lacking in depth. Maybe its that he tried to tie many things together and they just didn’t work. Whatever the case it was pretty lame and I got through mostly because I had already started it and because once I start a book I pretty much have to finish it. I don’t recommend this.

 

The Swan Thieves

The Swan Thieves

 

 

The Swan thieves by Elizabeth Kostova’s second book and it didn’t disappoint. Although it didn’t move me and engulf me like her first novel “The Historian” did, I must say I liked this book a lot. The book revolves around the obsessive and wonderfully gifted genius painter Robert Oliver. He is brilliant and his work is extremely impressive so why is this man in the care of Andre Marlow? A renowned psychiatrist known for having the ability to make even stones talk. Oliver has gone to a museum and nearly destroyed a beautiful painting of Leda and the Swan by Gilbert Thomas. Why would a painter do that? That is how the book begins with Marlow only going on the first words and only words of Robert “I did it for her?”. But who is she? She is Beatrice de Clerval a female painter of the early Impressionism period, little known but clearly a genius with a brush. He paints her as if from memory in many forms. She is his secret muse. Oliver loves her but his love is for the long dead. So it is up to Dr. Marlow to go through Oliver’s history to his past life with his wife, his lover, and then to find out the life of the face perpetually staring from the easel of Robert Oliver.

Bitch Please!

So here’s the thing, the mystery of wanting to find out who this woman was kind of what kept me going into the story in the first couple of pages. I quickly found out that I REALLY didn’t like the main character. To me he seemed to, patronizing and careful. He talks all weird and, and this is weird for me to admit, I could never visualize him as real person. Usually with a book your characters, if they are well written, haunt you and you wish with all your soul that somehow they were real. Like for me it would be Lestat de Lioncourt from Anne Rice’s “Vampire Chronicles”. When I was thirteen after reading “The Vampire Lestat ” for the first time, I longed to see him floating outside my window with that ironic smile and golden hair, befriending me like Louis, Marius and Gretchen the nun (although nothing sexual) or David perhaps (later I made this association when I read “the tale of the Body Thief”). I wanted him to tell me his life story not read it thru through Rice’s voice. It sounds silly but that’s what good writers are supposed to do, make their characters so real you want to be a part of their world. I could go on with books, series that have engulfed me into their fantasy worlds and their characters that mesmerizing and imperfect have beguiled me. That being said, Kostova has failed with her main character to be able to, at least with me, to make that connection. Marlow is just that: a character. He really never comes to life like Oliver, Mary, Kate and especially Beatrice de Clerval. I believe her failing is that Kostova made her main character a man and he sounds like a woman, or more like a woman wrote him. There is nothing manly about him, more of like projections of what a man is supposed to be like. Despite this however I enjoyed the book, it was about 600 pages and it was a bit tedious what with all the painting descriptions and the unceasing descriptions of woods and nature that my inner city girl can’t appreciate fully. I wish that Robert Oliver was real and that I could see his collection of Beatrice de Clerval. That is primordial that you, dear reader, understand she makes you want those images to be real. I googled the image that Robert had supposedly ravaged and no it wasn’t a real painter and yes there it was Leda but I do have to say that the Leda in the painting and Leda in the description are two different things but I’ll let you figure out the differences if you decide to read this book. The story is mesmerizing and sometimes you wonder why some parts are necessary but it is all essential. In the end it all comes together falling into place neatly and clearly just there. Like the Historian the real fun is in trying to fit into place the story you get in pieces and painstakingly through letters. But is in the reveal you get the reward.

 

Man Up!

Man Up! by Ross Matthews:

Firstly let me introduce the author of this book, who doesn’t know it but is my gay soulmate, Ross Matthews. Maybe some of you know him from his work at Jay Leno as the uber cool correspondent or as a regular round table guest on Chelsea Lately. Sometimes he’ll actually host the show too! Or you might know him as the better half of the radio show “he said/ he said” Josh and Ross! Which by the way is super funny. You might read his blog “Hello Ross” or then again you might have read his book “Man up!” . I am guilty of being a fan since I saw him on Chelsea  about 5 years ago. He popped out on the round table and him and his little lady voice made my head spin. If you are not acquainted the photo will maybe help. I was anticipating his book for a really long time. And I was so not disappointed. I rarely read something that isn’t fiction unless it’s a biography. My favorite type of biography is a funny one. I’ve read all of the Chelsea Handler ones (My Horizontal Life, Hello Vodka are you there? It’s me Chelsea., Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang, and the latest Lies that Chelsea Handler told me.) I’ve also read the bore fest “you’ll never blue ball in this town again” by Heather McDonald and the  quite depressing (good but super sad) “Life as I blow it” by Sarah Colonna. What Ross has that these two ladies don’t is honestly his gayness.

Bitch Please:

I was amazed that while reading this book I could imagine him reading it to me in his angelic lady like voice. And him pointing certain things out with his index finger the way he does on the round table. Everything about this book was funny, his obsession with Gwenyth Paltrow and the entertainment industry (which I share as well) his love of girls toys when he was a little boy, his run ins with homophobia, his love of tiny dogs and of course his brushes with fame. Now I cannot deny that he is my favorite Red Carpet correspondent and I so wish that one day he would interview me, (I need to hurry up and write a book, star in a movie or record a solo album). The book made me laugh a lot. It also made me think that my dreams can come true. He is leading my path to becoming… whatever it is I decide I want to become. I know at my age I should have that figured out already. I highly recommend everyone read this book as a pick me up or something to lighten the heavy load of literature. 

The Memory Keepers Daughter

The Memory Keepers Daughter by Kim Edwards :

 

 

 

This one comes with a story. About three weeks ago Salinger and I were on our way back from shopping in weho. On a previous trip I had noticed a library by Pan Pacific Park, for you Angelenos ya’ know what I'm talking about. I was obsessed with the universal movie marathon my sister and I had been watching and here was a chance to rummage through the possible hidden gems of this library. We parked and entered a book sale. To me that’s like saying to a heroin addict, “Free Heroin”. My little heart started racing and my fingers started fluttering, oh the joy of a book sale! I quickly loaded my self with books and settled with six, here they are listed in order of remembrance ; Mirror Mirror, The Swan Theives, The Tale of the Body Thief, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The Memory Keepers Daughter and Snow Flower and the Secret Fan.” I had already read The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and The Tale of the Body Thief so I don’t have to read those. As for the rest well I have already read two!  Out of the four anyway and considering I got them the same week as I got Affliction and In Cold Blood, well let me just say that its pretty impressive.

So that’s how I cam to have this book in my hands. I had heard about it from different sources, the library catalog had this on recommendation and so did some of the other literary websites I have visited. When I read the back I knew immediately I wanted to read it, it was compelling and even though I decided to read the Lisa See book first I kept drifting to the other. Finally after I finished “Snow Flower and the Secret Fan” “In cold blood” and “Affliction” I finally read ‘The Memory Keepers Daughter’. The story starts on a winter’s day in 1964 in which Dr. David Henry delievers his own twins. The boy is healthy and essentially perfect while the surprise child shows the symptoms of having Down Syndromes disease. So he does something so fucked up, he gives his baby daughter to his nurse Caroline Gill and tells her to give her away to an institution. As the years go by Dr. Henry’s wife Norah is slowly growing away from her husband, inwardly pushing him away for not loving or acknowledging the existence of their lost daughter. Paul his son who loves his father also begins to grow away from his father angry and rejected, because he can not rise to his father’s expectations. Meanwhile Caroline keeps the baby runs away and raises the child as her own. Understanding that she will have to fight hard and fight many battles for her daughter to be seen as worthy to attend school and live a semi normal life. Dr. Henry receives a camera from his wife called a “Memory Keeper” and he becomes obsessed with his camera and the parallel universe between nature and the human body. The family that should be perfect, they have everything, money, success, they travel and have many luxuries others do not and still they are miserable. The secret of their Daughter weighing heavily upon David’s shoulders and his guilt takes his toll.

Bitch Please:

I really liked this book and that’s saying something because I could not stand for one minute the name of the Dr’s wife. Norah! God almighty is there a name for a woman so annoying. Norah is so stupid! And it sounds awful when u say it like ‘nugh’ just gross. But I guess it suits the character who is as shit brained as her name suggest. Possibly the #1 annoying character in the book I cant stand her. She is the perfect Susie Homemaker who just could never get over losing her baby girl, which I kind of understand, I mean she lost a child but fuck she just drags that shit for twenty years! I mean the first five were fine but the other 15 were like a lot. I know he should have told her the truth but then we wouldn’t have a story now would we. Paul is a little douchebag like his mother who can’t appreciate shit and even though David made a mistake he always tried to shoulder the brunt of the mistakes and he bore it in stride. I read this book in a day, the language is beautiful and the story is very moving. My one complaint is that their isn’t enough of Phoebe and Caroline Gill and way to much of Norah Henry (that soul sucking slut bag of a bitch). I would recommend this to everyone. The very idea behind David’s photography collection is one I wish was actually real.

 

 

In Cold Blood

In Cold Blood by Truman Capote:

This  was the only non-fiction/ non-biographical book I think I have ever read. I just don’t like non-fiction, it makes me slow and I get bored almost immediately. However for some reason, (actually in all honesty it’s probably because I had just seen Sinister and the main character is like a modern Capote except family oriented.)I wanted to read this book. I had actually loved his ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’ and his obsession with my girl Marilyn Monroe made me want to read anything of his further. This in mind I went to the library and checked it out, it took me about a week to finish this book, it being only 367 pages I should have finished it a lot sooner. But like I said, non-fiction makes me slow. It was written with a fiction like story, reconstructing the lives and the last days of the Clutters and the trip the killers Hickcock and Smith planned and excuted but by the 290 mark it was all newspaper articles and quotation marks and I was done with it but sheer will forced me to finish it. The story revolves around the murder of four members of the Clutter who were killed, in you guessed it, Cold Blood. The reason for the murder was never known and if it hadn’t been for one cell mate a Mr. Floyd Wells then no one would have ever made the connection. I don’t know if it was the longevity of it or the fact that it all took place in a sleepy agricultural town like Kansas (yawn) that made it so boring. I mean the killers were dumb and unorganized and had really annoying self esteem issues. The only thing I felt was just sorry for the Clutters who were nice outstanding people and didn’t deserve any of that shit.

Bitch Please:

The book actually wasn’t all that bad and im sure I would have liked it better if the killers had been more sinister. However that being said I don’t think id ever read this if I had known how slow it would be or how tedious and boring it would end up. Don’t read this unless you have to, I mean watch the movie, watch Sinister. Its just not worth the effort, it’s long and you can already guess how it ends.

Affliction

Affliction by Laruell K. Hamilton

 This is the twenty something book in the Anita Blake Vampire Hunter series. Ok here’s the thing I honestly love this series. I love how bad ass anita is and even though through the years she has waned a lot in her convictions since book six but I still like her loads. I love her supporting characters her myriad of lovers especially Jean-Claude and Nathaniel. I don’t always love the writing. I don’t always love the defensive stance Anita always takes whenever she goes to the cop station in whatever state Vampire politics or Zombie armies take her. I hate that she always makes it several chapters of “I’m still the scariest bitch in town and even though you think your tough because you’re a man, you’ll never be the biggest BITCH and im the all powerful necromancer. Sex goddess.” If she gave this speech maybe Hamilton could shorten the chapters. That being said, I have toiled through these books since I laid eyes on the twelfth book ‘Cerulean Sins’ and then started from book one and never looked back. Now you may ask whats been the downfall of the series and believe it or not its : SEX. The series started with everyone else having sex but Anita. Then she started having sex somewhere in book four but it still wasn’t that bad because she (Hamilton) was a newbie and therefore apprehensive on the subject of sex in her novels, however as Anita’s appetite grew so did Hamilton’s. In book six she finally gave in to Jean Claude’s advances. After six long fucking years they have sex. I wish that was the end of it almost immediately she is having sex with a whole bunch of people, Richard and .. ok honestly Ive forgotten most of them let me think about this: Jason (werewolf) Micah, Nathaniel (wereleopards) Nicky(werelion), Damien (vampire), Asher, Requiem, Wicked, Truth, (vampires) there was Cookie Monster (but she killed him) oh and Mephistophiles although I have forgotten what he is already. Honestly you know that’s quite a full bed and she has been collecting lovers for quite sometime but this is why sex makes a series a downfall. As an avid reader I start forgetting names and sex details because they happen as often as every other chapter eliminating and robbing time from what I am really after, VIOLENCE! After all I came to love the bad ass chick who wasn’t all powerful and who battled monsters at her human pace and still won. This chick with her powers coming from her vagina and killing monsters left to right easily is not my cup of tea. This is why after book fifteen ‘The Harlequin’ I was less enthused to keep going but I did, year after year I checked out the new books from the library and year after year I kept getting disappointed. The last two books Flirt and Bullet were pathetic attempts to keep the franchise going. Then she goes off and kills her number #1 nemesis. Call me crazy but that’s highly anti-climactic. Now who the fuck is she gonna beat up on? So excuse me for sounding all jaded when ‘Affliction’ plopped into my lap and I was skeptical about the quality of it. However I was happily appeased. The book was not terrible and not full of sex, in fact this one was downright romantic, a little to romantic for my tastes but nice change of pace. I’m sad that it took her too fucking long to fix the fuck out of the necromancer,  I mean Hamilton killed seven people while she figured out when the timing was right for Anita to kill the Marmee Noir human vessel (think Harry Potter as a horcrux). I mean I figured right as soon as she said rampaging zombies the thing to do was for Anita to raise an Army of the undead. Nothing about it was special except that it was a throwback to old Anita and I take it as a sign she is going to start writing more violence and less sex. My advice? Read it if you’ve read more than half the series, don’t bother if your still on book ten and under.. read until book ‘Incubus Dreams’ and send in your cease and desist letters.

Snow Flower and the Secret Fan

Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See

Last week onan outing with Barbie we stopped by the library Andy they had a book sale. I went crazy and bought six books all of which I plan to read (well for the other two we're "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" and  " The Tale of the Body thief" both have been read and one already thoroughly reviewed) so this is was the first one that caught my attention while I was looking through the pile because I had seen seen the movie at the library, I was curious about it but hadn't really wanted to check it out thinking that it would try to be like "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon", a movie that I love and own and cannot see destroyed! I finished the book in a day. It's a fast read  and it kind of wills you to keep reading. In many ways it reminded me of "Memoirs of a Geisha" by Arthur Holden. The theme of the main character being uncommonly beautiful and poor, the pain of becoming an adult the weird foot wear (although the Chinese take the cake foot binding is fucking horrific ok) and the misunderstandings  that lead to major problems. However See' s novel also talks about the disturbingly true nature of the Chinese and their loath of women. 

BITCH PLEASE!

Overall engrossing I do wish that Snow Flower had been more seen through eyes that were not the main characters as she can only ever see her with pity and furthermore I wish that the author would not have confused me. In the beginning of the book when Snow Flower, Beautiful Moon and Lily are talking about their future spouses the narrator says that in truth she hadn't realized until after her marriage how close Beautiful Moon would live and how often they would get to see each other. Then she goes ahead and kills her. I was passed because I liked Beautiful Moon. However I did enjoy the book and I'm going to check out the movie and hobbits just as good.  

Shit my dad says

Shit my dad says by Justin Halpern.

After reading Kavalier and Clay ,I definitely needed from serious an  long books so I choose something that was funny. I had been thinking of reading this book since it came out but it takes me forever to get around to anything that doesn't immediate attract my full attention. So I gave this a shot and was very happy I did.

Birch please!

The book revolves around Halpern who moves back in with his parents after getting dumped by his girlfriend. The dad is the main character of the book as Halpern goes back into his childhood and recounts his father's wisdom. The book is filled with three of my favorite types if humor, bathroom, raunchy and profane. He usually has a cuss word, an allusion to poop and then a little anger thrown in. In reality it reminded me of a way less tame version of my own father. I think this book was amazing because Halpern is brilliant by cashing in on the ridiculousness of his father (something something I should look into) and still remaining in close contact with his father father who despite sounding crass loves his and is quite affectionate with him. I have a feeling this man has some Salvadoran blood. He fits perfectly in our culture. 

The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay

The amazing adventures of Kavalier and Clay: by Michael Chabon

this book has been sitting on my book shelf for a really long time. I was told that I would like this book.the verdict is I sort of did but did I find something to birch about, of course. The book is about two cousins Josef Kavalier and Sammy Clayman. Josef is the light of hope for his parents who are about to be sent into a concentration camp. However things go awry when the immigration offices revoke his passage to America. So he seeks help from his old magic teacher and takes a ride with the Jewish Golem. He travels with it all the way to Lithuania where he birch takes a ride to Japan and from there to San Francisco and to New York. There he and Sammy quite quickly come up with a plan to make themselves rich. They are going to make themselves rich on the golden age of comic books.they create the escapist a superhero that beats Nazi's and who represents the angst in his creator then we go into learn about Twitter lives and meet j just about the only real female character in the book Rosa Saks. Then there's slot of more in the war but mostly in Antarctica

Bitch please: 

The book was clearly not Kavalier and Clay but more aptly titled Kavalier and sometimes Clay.I felt bad for Sammy he spends most of the book in the shadows and horrible things happen to him and yet unlike Joe he has no one to talk to about it. The only good thing in Sammy' s life is Tracy Bacon. Even then he can't really appreciate it either.when Joe leaves him and he takes care of the ones Joe has left behind, he can't even enjoy. Joe is an asshole, I mean he just runs away from his anger and he just poses me of because he can't appreciate the love and burgeoning family that Sammy so craves. His heart is still in Prague, with his family. But he doesn't allow himself the chance to be completely happy, or to be miserable on his own. I guess maybe that's what brought me down about the book how Joe is unwilling to help himself be happy. That and how long the book was. I mean I get it the author is cramming details about the life and journey of two comic book genius in their rise and fall. But 640 pages is a lot to get through. My favorite parts of the book are the introduction to the escapist and Luna moth. The little stories totally enthralled me. The verdict, read it if you like comic books or like to read about Jewish heroes. It's long it's a little dry and there are days when you start drifting during the reading, nonetheless it's got a feel good.

 Luna moth

Horror Movie Marathon

So my sister and I have been watching all the universal horror movies of old.We started with the hunchback of Notre dame and have now currently seen phantom of the opera, Dracula and bride of Frankenstein. Here's the review:

Hunchback of Notre dame: 

Ok considering I didn't like the ending of the book I did like this rendition of the movie.perhaps because the movie had a just ending. Ok two saving grace Esmeralda' s portrayal and interaction with Quasimodo. That and the romance that grew between Gringoire and Esmeralda, which is better than the author posting her up with that ass phoebeus who I am happy to say has a minor role. I liked this it felt more just and even though I still feel sorry for Quasimodo I understand that love cannot involve ugly. In an observation I noticed that Maureen O'Hara reminds me of Kate Winslet.

Am I right or am I right! 

Phantom of th  opera:

My main problem with this movie was that I felt sorry for the phantom whom in the book and in the 2004 rendition of the movie I hadn't. This poor poor man. Poor Claudin, he worked all his life for a love that could never be his. Fucking Christine played fiddle with all  of those mans emotions. The three being the phantom, the policeman Raoul, and the baritone Garron who by the way look alike and made for confusing cinematic experience. Ok things I liked: the staging was pretty awesome and the music sans the singing I dug.
What I didn't like? The costuming, the story, the lack of horror, the ducked up story line, the opera....let's just say bad rendition of phantom.

See they are eerily similar.

We saw Dracula too but I'm saving the ruler of the night for a different post.

For now this is it. I'll post on Mama and The woman in black later. 

My hobby.....

As a collector, I understand the excitement of purchasing a long sought out for item. As a collector of Marilyn memorabilia, well thats the excitement at finding a new venue of Marilyn items to collect. The fan base that not only keeps growing but keeps adding to her legend is voluminous. Most recently the Marilyn Monroe brand which originally only sold lingere, now has a full fledged clothing line, complete with modern replicas of some of her famous costumes. Since I was 15 I have collected Marilyn items, begining with my giant book of Marilyn Monroe, a huge heavy pictorial of some of her more famous pictures.

This was quickly precedded by a random trip to Walmart where I purchased (2006) a Marilyn Monroe shirt and a Audrey Hepburn shirt. This was the begining of the screen tee. Once I graduated I had only comenced the iceberg of what fandom was. I had a huge help from a Marilyn site  http://www.marilynmonroe.ca/ in which I verified some of the quotes and discussed the falsities of her life. In college I now had more access to films and a knowledge of how better to get what I wanted. I watched her famous films e.g. "Some Like it Hot" and "Gentlemen prefer Blondes" and her little known work "Don't bother to knock" and "All about Eve". At some point I got my hands on a set of her DVD's

This set included "The seven year itch", "Niagra", "Lets Make Love", Gentlemen Prefer Blondes", "River of no Return", and a dvd for "Marilyn the final days". For a while this was enough to keep me at bay. I read books on her life, and decided I didn't agree with some authors, others were too sympatheic. Marilyn remained, at least in my head, misunderstood on all levels. I continued to find ways in which my poor college student self could indulge into the world of memorabilia collecting. In almost all stores they now carry screen t' s. I Think this is due to people wanting to become nerdy. whatever the reason, I had now an incessant source an enabler if you will of Marilyn Monroe t-shirts. I only have six because I am extremely picky about the design or sometimes the quote that comes with it. Here's a pic of my six shirts.

My pride and glory Marilyn Monroe has become a fixture in my life. I cannot say why. Perhaps because she is eternally altered she herself never knew her truth. Maybe I have a soft spot for fuck-up's.  I though I should share my smAll addiction.

Let's see what I can find to bitch about

Barbie and I are both taking math classes this summer, her because she wants to get it out of the way. I'm taking math in the summer because I'm dumb and didn't pass last semester's class. Anyway my class is way less intense than hers and so I therefore have no reason to study and now I'm here doing absolutely nothing.
So I decided to bitch about random shit.

Bruno Mars: Unorthdox Jukebox

I really, really love this album. I can't even begin to explain how much. Personally before this came out, I didn't care much for Bruno Mars. That song "Grenade" and "Just the way your are" kind of wore me out. I kept thinking he was just a sweet guy who was singing about lost love or whatnot and I'm just not that romantic. In the second album we hear a more racy side to him. Even though "Locked out of heaven" and "When I was your man" are kind of lovey dovey they have this simpleness that I love. As of now my favortie songs on this album are "Treasure" a sort of throwback to the Jackson 5 with a little edge and "Natalie" a song about a bitch he's gonna kill with a pretty awesome hook. I'm also kind of obsessed with "Money make her smile", it just has a really funky beat you just want to get crazy with.  Bruno Mars clearly can sing and in this album he's rowdy and fun and dirty and raunchy. If you like the Jackson Five and reggae, simple pop and good beats you'll like this album and then like me dance up the hill to "Treasure", pulling a Cameron Diaz in "The Sweetest Thing"

Movie time:

This movie I wanted to watch all week, my sister and I have been into the monster thing lately and are currently obsessed with having a scary monster movie marathon. Dracula was the only one we could find at the local library but it came with the pleasent surprise of four extra movies. It was "The Son of Dracula", "The Daughter of Dracula" "Dracula :The spanish version" and "House of Dracula" which the latter is a sequel to the movie "House of Frankenstein". So I popped it in after I had come home from school and had just had a big lunch, I'm talking mashed potatoes and a cheese stick(ok it wasn't that big but it felt like it at the moment). I saw up until the part where they find Lawerence Talbot, who incidentally is one of the main character of Anne Rices's "The Tale of the Body Thief" David Talbot. I thought that was fun fact whether it be true or not. But anyway after that I might have fallen asleep missing out most of the film and too sleepy top rewatch it afterwards. What I saw of it I can say that it was kind of creepy and that the nurse Miliza played by the beautiful Martha O'Driscoll scared me as I thought it was Carla Gugino (Sally Jupiter Sr. in watchmen? Mother of the two kids in Spy Kids?)   It was like Hollywood Doppleganger moment...

Carla Gugino                                                                              Martha O'Driscoll



 Eerily similar right!!!!

Bookworm alert:

At the beginning of the semester I ventured to the school's library on the lookout for a bibliography on one of my favorite writers, Antoine St. Expuery. I ventured into the Fiction section, because I just can't resist and found myself face to face with a tiny little book called "Einstein's Dreams", I have this thing with tiny books where I will read them just because of their size, because they are soo diminutive in stature that whether they are thick or thin I must read it. Anyway it was only 175 pgs I knew it would be a fast read. I read this book in two hours and am forever changed by it. Lightman has studied Einstein's theory of time and when he puts it into what I would refer too as a painting a picture it's just mind blowing. The one that catches me the most was the little vignette of the people who live in their past forever and therefore never give themselves a chance to move forward and be happy. A man who was a star athlete in his youth relives his past by keeping all his trophies on display and retelling his stories of glory and a lonely spinster refuses to move on with her life after her only love has gone. I was just so electrified by this vignette because it is a path so easily taken by people. Even I at my young age sometimes revisit the past, even though I tend to prefer to live in the present. There are a lot of insightful little tidbits that just make you want to shake and motorboat your lips because you can feel yourself becoming the person in that vignette. Also I've always imagined/ believed that all of my decisions were turned into consequences in a different dimension, for example in this world today I had chips and a soda for lunch, in another world I would have decided to go home instead of waiting for this *points to the left* one to finish her hw and then go buy shampoo. And then have this mean lady sit next to me and inquire what the fuck it is I am doing. And in another world a different me, a very rude me, would tell this bitch to "fuck off". But then you'd be reading or perhaps not reading her blog and not mine.

Miley Cyrus being a HO:

Then theres this Miley Cyrus video I watched out curiosity "We Can't Stop" it's her singing and announcing in a pretty fucking annoying way that she is at 20 finally liberating herself from her parents and the world, she has become fucking emancipated everyone lets rejoice and smoke and play in pools and eat bread and twerk as we wear gold grills. She is just so fucking stupid! I watched this video and couldn't really comprehend what her message was, "I'm 20 years old, a millionaire and I have an obsession with my vagina, or anything sexual for that matter. I put a lot of white bread in my videos but its not like I even eat bread because I am ultra thin cuz I need to twerk. I am now inviting black people into my videos when in my "Party in the USA" video I didn't even know who Jay-Z was and added him in my lyrics anyway. I still play with dolls and have a cutesy little girl side to me because I have been pretending to be a grown up for too long." In this video she grabs ass and tit,and says stupid shit like how it's her house so she can smoke, drink and fuck if she wants to. Bitch let me tell you something if you have to voice your independence so loudly you are not independent. Everyone smokes or drinks and fucks so what makes you so fucking special to shout that shit up, I don't want to hear about a weekend I could have! This girl is dumb and has way to much fucking time on her hands. As a girl who was venerated by young little girls everywhere for her Hannah Montana thing I can understand why she would want to transition away from that but let me say right now that there is  a way to do it. You can't go from little Disney princess to raunchy gagaesque wannabe slutbag. As an artist you define yourself by your beginnings not by the transition. No matter how much she tries to hide her image of the squeaky clean Disney darling she is just making it worse because she draws comparisons it's just too many volatile extremes and not only that but she is totally disregarding anything her parents have taught her. Demi Lovato has transitioned beautifully as well as Selena Gomez (I can't stand either one of them but they deserve brownie points for not commiting the crime miley has) Mily Cyrus, get your shit together and find real shit, don't just make your life about dumb shit smoking, drinking and having sex is only good for awhile find something substantial to sing about if not get the fuck out. ANd stop buying shit from American Apparel.

Mathematics:

I really just fucking hate Math

I'm running our of things to bitch about and I'm hungry so Barbie better feed me.. by that I mean she better take me to Taco Bell, whatever happened to that annoying little chihuhaua that used to say "Yo Quiero Tacoo Belll" Like an East LA cholo?



i officially am upset with Barbie's professor, Professor Santa Claus is going down he just gives way to much homework, oh look at that I found something to bitch about! Well at the commencemnet of the semester we figured that our professors were pretty much dopplegangers for two very beloved characters Santa Claus and Bilbo. Although Santa is actually quite nice Bilbo is much sweeter in his effort to give us less homework and even though he demotes my ass every class meeting, daring me to fail his class even at my 82% I still like the old bastard so here are pictures of what we have to deal with everyday:

 

 

OMG WE'RE FINALLY LEAVING....END OF RANT ... TO TACO BELL WE GO, TO TACO BELL WE GO HIGH HO THE MERRY HO *points at Barbie* TO TACO BELL WE GO=]